The joys of change!

So...recently the Salt Lake county student wards were reconfigured (for lack of a better word). So I have been going to a new ward for the last 2 weeks. The best thing, however, is the amount of participation from all the ward members. Our ward activity night is on Tuesdays...between last week and tonight I played about 4 hours of volleyball...sweet wonderful volleyball (sigh of contentment). I'm so extremely blessed the Heavenly Father knows our needs and fills the tiny cracks in our lives with the simplest things!

What a great change!

Conference

I decided to listen to Conference today while cleaning. I can't express my emotion as I realized I was hearing many many things I needed to hear.

Life isn't easy. But I'm here, and I'm trying...and I know that Heavenly Father loves me despite mistakes I make, and struggles I'm facing. I am so blessed to be able to listen to leaders of our Church. I'm grateful for quiet peaceful love I feel because of the knowledge I have that I don't have to be perfect, and the Lord understands my pain and suffering.

I won't lie, I'm struggling. this period of time, more than any other is the most difficult for me. Its almost been a whole year since Ben left. So many things have changed in that time. I'm not the same person I was before, in good ways and bad ways. But I know who I am. I'm a divine Daughter of God. I want to be happy, and I know that will come with time.

I want to me a wife and mother more than anything! But I know that want to be married in the temple, to someone who is worthy of me! I have faith in myself, that I know what I want, and I have faith that the Lord knows what I want and need in my life.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by those who love me, and want the best for me. Its very difficult to express the feelings I'm having right now toward many things in my life. But I'm very very grateful for the opportunity I have to enjoy the single part of my life. The blessing of friends who know when I'm struggling, and make efforts to comfort me, and take me away from stressful situations. I'm happy to be learning about me, and not always trying to make everyone else happy. Its nice to just worry about me for now, and I continue to navigate my way through this trial.

Above all I'm grateful for my Savior. Who understands better than anyone how I'm feeling, and the war I'm fighting within myself. I'm grateful for His silent patience, and love. The sacrifice He gave for me. For His tender mercies, and gentle hand that helps me every time I fall. I am truly blessed!

Decisions

So I made my decision! Yes world (my whole 2 followers) I'm staying in Utah! This decision felt very right, at least for the time being.

You know those times when you can feel like something big is going to happen, you just don't know what? Well it drives me crazy (and honestly I can't get much more optimistic about this subject).
All I know is that I'm supposed to start preparing to be a wife and mom.

I am bound and determined to enjoy the single life as long as possible. But I would be lying if I said that the prospect of being a wife again didn't sound appetizing. How is it possible to be so excited, anxious, and stressed about something that hasn't even happened yet?

Oh!!! And its spring time-ish (the snow tonight doesn't count). And St. Patrick's Day tomorrow, woohoo!!!! I love this time of year!

Life

Today I found out that I'm a #1 pick for an office manager in Glenwood Springs, CO. Decisions, decisions! I'm so blessed to have family and friends who care so much about my happiness.

Day 1

I'm so excited to be starting a blog! I've decided that on my very first post, I should list the things I'm grateful for. Here it goes:

~The Atonement

~The Gospel of Jesus Christ

~Family

~Music

~Laughter

~Agency

~Prayer

~The Temple

~A Free Country

~The ability to read, write, sing, walk, run, jump, and comprehend.

And many many more things....

I'm also so grateful for my family and friends who have been here to support me through the last year. I can honestly say I'm thankful for the opportunity I have had to go through the trails that I have been given. I'm blessed to have the knowledge of the Gospel in my life, and the knowledge of the blessings of the Temple. I'm the most grateful, however, for my Savior, and the sacrifice He gave so that I can have the option to live with Him again.

Keep smiling!